EMO post

The Me right now.

I thought I had control. My life, my world held in my ever shaking hands. But it's disappeared and replaced by a black hole thats sucking the life from me. Fate has doomed me to this. To this disease inside. To this painful heartache. The clock's ticking away my life, color fading from my eyes as tears that seem to real roll down my cheeks. Why did it happen this way? Why??

I wish I could have stopped it. Stopped this. Held time still for a matter of seconds because this is breaking me. Killing me inside. How am I suppose to survive? I feel like I've lost a part of me somewhere in the dark. Where do you go from here? Where do you start when you know the end is near? Because this pain, this pain has never felt so real.

Do I really deserve this? Did I ever?...

How do you stop the fountain of heartache once the flood gate has been opened? How to stop falling when in you're in mid-flight? How? Oh please tell me how...

The tears are crashing all around me. My pain in clear view for the world to see. No one knows why, who did this to me. I won't tell. I'll whisper it every so quietly in my heart. Your name sounding from these lips, a curse. The disease is getting worse, breaking me down ever so more. The walls have crumbled into rubbish and I'm bleeding. Bleeding onto the concrete for everyone to see. They ask who did this to me. But I won't answer. I won't tell. All I can do is whisper it ever so quietly in my heart.

I'm losing the battle I've been fighting all my life. I'm ever so slightly dying in front of my family. The pain is to real, and it hurts so much. The end of my story has come. The pen finally fallen from my hands. The echo of my screams, languish striking hard and brutally. A storm inside myself, twisted ever so bitterly and wiping away memories. Memories of what use to be..

My world of light and hope has shrunkened and transformed before my very blind eyes. Pain and darkness is all that is left. The light has been wiped from existence. Hope is nowhere to be found inside myself. Where do I go from here? Where do I go when I know this is the end? The very end I've known would come all along..

I wish I could hold time for a matter of seconds, so that maybe things would be different. But I can't change what is meant to be. I can't change this unfortunate fate. I wish I could. I wish could forget and just live. Just breathe in the air I seem to be lacking because I feel like I am suffocating. I wish my heart would beat instead of break with every tick of time, with ill-conceived measure. I wished for so much more..But it will never come. Never...

For this is the end dear loved ones. The end of what use to be. What couldn't be. And what never would be. This is the end of me.